Ass End of the Galaxy

[fraggedyourmom.livejournal.com]

It's a long journey to Thanagar.

It's even longer when you take as many pitstops as Lobo does. Whether it's to get a few thousand bites to eat, to drain out all the beer he drinks, or to start a fight in every backwater space station he pulls into, The Main Man does things at his own pace, and has never bothered with discipline.

Which no doubt frustrates the hell out of the Hawks he's taking in, who spend most of their time chained to his bike.

The worst part of the trip is most likely the stench. Throughout the entire sojourn, the Last Czarnian has yet to bathe.

As they pull into Zanak-7 spaceport, it doesn't look likely that he'll start now.

"Fraggin' bike's a gas guzzlin' son of a bitch, ain't it, Bird?"

Comments

[fraggedyourmom.livejournal.com]

"Not hardly, no. That's why you two pukes are my bitches. You can't do frag-all to me without yer stupid little clubs, and even then, I'll kick yer bastich asses across the galaxy, you gimme reason to."

[katavatar.livejournal.com]

Obviously, not much into secrecy, either.

"What's your policy on getting stiffed by your employer?"

[fraggedyourmom.livejournal.com]

"Watch yer mouth, Eugene! The Main Man ain't inta MEN! Tits and ass all the way!"

[katavatar.livejournal.com]

I hate you.

"If your employer doesn't pay up," he rephrases, pedantically.

[fraggedyourmom.livejournal.com]

"All the fraggin' pain and fraggin' death you can't even dream about puttin' on me, Bird."

Yes, smug as all hell, to boot.

[katavatar.livejournal.com]

"I can dream a lot."

[fraggedyourmom.livejournal.com]

"Keep dreamin'. Here's a bird for the bird."

[hawk-shay.livejournal.com]

Shayera's return is announced by the case of foul-tasting thrown at Lobo's head.

Uncharacteristically, she hasn't been making a lot of trouble so far - ultimately, it wouldn't be worth it - but that doesn't mean she can't still show her contempt.

[fraggedyourmom.livejournal.com]

As might be expected, Lobo has a lot of experience with stuff being hurled at his head. He catches it with his teeth.

"Damn, Eugene!" he barks to Katar. "How'd a boring sack of gizz like you ever land a spitfire broad like this?"

[katavatar.livejournal.com]

"By not being a disgusting waste of life like you," comes the clipped response.

[hawk-shay.livejournal.com]

Shayera's lips quirk up at that.

"Really," she says. "If we were to go over every reason why Lobo is completely repulsive, we'd never get to Thanagar."

She has yet to actually speak directly to Lobo himself.

[katavatar.livejournal.com]

"It would certainly kill time on the trip, though. And seeing as how he has to deliver us intact, there's not much of anything he could do about it."

[fraggedyourmom.livejournal.com]

Lobo grits his teeth.

"Do your worst, Birds. The Main Man ain't worried about nothin'."

Yet he's already downed half of the case Shayera brought him.

[hawk-shay.livejournal.com]

Satisfied for the moment with this reaction, Shayera climbs back onto Lobo's bike.

"I bet we could get from here to the next system and not even fully cover the subject of how he smells," she says.

If she has to suffer, so does Lobo.

[katavatar.livejournal.com]

"I've been trying to identify that particular pungency, actually," Katar adds, joining her.

"It's something akin to opening a humid crypt covered in mule droppings and some kind of chemical I haven't quite placed yet."

[fraggedyourmom.livejournal.com]

Lobo's bike suddenly roars to life, to try and drown them out as they take off.

"FRAG OFF!"

[hawk-shay.livejournal.com]

The roar of the engine might drown out the sound of Shayera's smug chuckle, but does nothing to hide the expression on her face. She's surprised she didn't think of this sooner. Perhaps it'll even prompt Lobo to get them to Thanagar sooner, just to be rid of them.

"Makes you wonder when the last time he got any action that he didn't have to pay for was."

[fraggedyourmom.livejournal.com]