No no no. He needs that hat. It's his favourite hat. It goes with everything and and and it oh it has the best things. He always feels most at peace wearing that hat. He can't stand not having it, he just can't.

"Wait!"

He scrambles in his coat and pulls out a small remote control, which he pulls out and points at Candle-Ends.

"Th-th-this button will make all the microchips self-destruct. It won't be a big explosion, but it will be enough to light the hats on fire. If you touch my hat, I'm going to light everybody else in this room on fire."

He's crying, though he doesn't really know it. All he knows is that he NEEDS his hat, and he'll do anything to get it.