Sanity Clause

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

The phone rings loudly, echoing through the tiny apartment.

"Cheeks, can you get that?" comes the shouted response from the green-suited figure in the kitchen, busily folding dishtowels into the shapes of various superhero insignias.

Comments

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"..."

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Nevermind, you should focus on your homework anyway, I've got it!"

With a POP!, Ambush Bug vanishes from the kitchen, appearing in the living room by the phone and snapping it up.

"Schwab Detective Agency, Babysitting Service, and Superhero Understudy - Ambush Bug speaking, how may I help you?"

On hearing the voice on the other end of the line, Ambush Bug blanches white - or at least a slightly paler shade of green (a very impressive trick, considering that it's a suit, not his skin) - and hastily whispers.

"I'll be right there."

The phone is replaced in its cradle, and he looks to Cheeks.

"Keep working on that geometry, buddy. I'll call 'Mazing Man over to watch you - Daddy has to go run an errand."

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

Cheeks falls over into the math textbook.

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"That's the spirit, kiddo."

A quick phone call, then a POP!, and he's gone. He arrives in similar fashion at the Metropolis Police Department's 42nd Precinct - after a few inquiries, he's shown to the holding cell area, where he espies a familiar figure.

[jla-extras.livejournal.com]

The white-bearded man in the red suit sits dejectedly on a bench - looking surprisingly comfortable despite the layers of clothing he's wearing. He looks up as Ambush Bug approaches.

"Irwin."

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Well, well, well. Let me guess - got a little too jolly with the ho-ho-hos?"

Ambush Bug snickers at his own joke.

"You do look like a pretty sad sight here with the fancy boot and belts, the hat, and the.. "

He peers more closely at the figure's hands.

"Green gloves?? That must mean.."

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He holds up his green-mittened hands and nods solemnly.

"That's right, Irwin. I'm Kris Kring-L, Santa Claus of Earth Two."

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

Ambush Bug's jaw drops for a second, but he quickly recovers.

"Well, hey, how're you doing, man? I haven't seen you since that whole Christmas on Infinite Earths thing! I remember those walls of white, consuming whole universes at the Santa-Monitor's behest. Come to think of it, Earth Three must still be snowed in - haven't heard from my evil counterpart Assassin Bug in ages."

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Kring-L bites his lip, looking away for a moment - unable to bring himself to correct Ambush Bug's supposition with the truth just now.

"So, listen.. I need your help, Irwin."

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Oh, sure! Anything I can do, just ask! What is it, some horrible assault against the Yuletide from a multi-dimensional threat? An Infinite, or perhaps Final, Christmas?"

Ambush Bug's gaze drifts upward as he puffs out his chest, envisioning himself as the champion of Christmas.

[jla-extras.livejournal.com]

Santa waves his hands to try and prevent Ambush Bug from raising his hopes any higher.

"No, no. Nothing like that. I .. I just need some bail money. I can pay you back once I get back to the South Pole*."

* Editor's note : unlike the Santa Claus of Earth One, the Santa of Earth Two built his toy factory of Solitude in the Antarctic!

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

Ambush Bug is immediately and visibly crestfallen.

"Seriously, that's it? Bail money? Well, sure, I guess. What'd they nail you for, anyways?"

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Santa shrugs his shoulders, the sad gesture merely causing his belly to shake like a cupful of jelly.

"Apparently, the RIAA really, really frowns on music sharing across dimensional or vibrational boundaries."

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Wow. Well, I'll go bail you out - but hey, one thing. Even though its March, if anybody asks - tell them I saved Christmas."