More Time In The Hospital

[straight-arrow.livejournal.com]

In the days since Thanksgiving, Ollie has been subjected to every indignity that Coluan medical science can concoct. Or at least it feels that way. The kid says it's to prepare his system and get the needed genetic information to start regrowth, but sometimes he thinks that it's sheer sadism on Brainiac's part.

But, since he has a bit of time between 'treatments', he's going to look in on another convalescent.

Dinah?

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_black_canary_/]

"Hey." The dressing on her hands has changed to something lighter, less bulky, and her voice sounds stronger. "C'mon in. How you doing?"

[straight-arrow.livejournal.com]

If I never see the inside of another examining room, it'll be too soon. But other than that, good.

You look like you're on the mend.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_black_canary_/]

"Getting there." She shrugs. "Will be glad to go back home."

She smooths out the sheet over her legs. "Come here to talk?"

[straight-arrow.livejournal.com]

If you're up for it.

Now, where were we? Were we still in the apologizing, or had we gotten around to explanations?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_black_canary_/]

"Not mad at you," she says thoughtfully, "so apology accepted. Still mad at me?"

[straight-arrow.livejournal.com]

*sigh*

I haven't been mad at you for a year. Frustrated, yeah. But not angry.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_black_canary_/]

"Good. Wasn't--" She waves a hand. "Bad year, this year."

[straight-arrow.livejournal.com]

Tell me about it.

So...you want to lead with the explaining, or should I?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_black_canary_/]

"Me," she says decisively. "Have to tell you why I didn't want serious talk that night." She looks abashed. "Should've said so, but ... jet-lagged. Not thinking well."

[straight-arrow.livejournal.com]

And you had an overeager archer in your face.

Sorry, I'm interrupting. Go ahead.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_black_canary_/]

"Have to explain ... saw Ra's. Turned himself in, remember? We talked some." Her lips twitch. "He apologized for courtship thing. Decided I wouldn't throw salad shooter at his head after all."

Time for her to take a deep breath. "You know I got dumped in lazarus pit, end of that?"

[straight-arrow.livejournal.com]

Ollie nods.

Right. And that's why you look closer to Mia's age than your own.

He winces.

Can we just ignore the tactless there?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_black_canary_/]

She nods. "Ra's warned about pit-dip. He said...." She takes another deep breath, speaking slowly and carefully. "I could've been tainted by that one dip. Had to get checked out."

Her bandaged hands fidget. "Nearly killed others when first came out of pit. Didn't want to risk that again."

[straight-arrow.livejournal.com]

He nods.

I understand. Freaks you out when you can't even trust who you are.

He puts his hand on hers.

Had any problems since that might be...?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_black_canary_/]

"No." She shakes her head vigorously. "Got checked out soon after that. Didn't want to put it off. I'm good." After a long sigh, she adds, "Couldn't say 'yes' when I didn't know. Didn't think was fair. Now ... still not sure what I know."

[straight-arrow.livejournal.com]

He closes his eyes.

Then it wasn't the right time then. It's probably not the right time now.

He opens them, and the look on his face is...it's usually only seen when he's talking about Connor. Or maybe Mia.

It worries me that you wanted to keep that secret. Like you don't trust me to...

...I'm being unfair, I know.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_black_canary_/]

"Not secret," she argues. "Didn't want you in danger." One hand goes up. "Not saying you not brave. Understand?"

[straight-arrow.livejournal.com]

He winces.

That's not the point. It's not about how brave I am, it's...

...Do you really think that when I worried about you going up against Dr. Light...not now, back when Sue...do you think that I thought you couldn't hack it?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_black_canary_/]

Dinah thinks that one over. "I did then," she says at last.

[straight-arrow.livejournal.com]

It never was. Okay, not never. But not since...at least since I came back.

Light's a...was a bastard. A bastard who preyed on women. I was in less danger than you, and I didn't want you to have to face that...

The 'again' hangs unspoken.

He looks into her eyes.

I was wrong. That's a bad reason to keep someone out of something. Funny thing? Ra's taught me that.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_black_canary_/]

She frowns. "Say again? Use more words?"

[straight-arrow.livejournal.com]

He chuckles.

Actually, it's something Connor and I taught each other, thanks to Ra's plague.

We got each other through that. We were both sick, and we were both holding on by sheer willpower. Whenever one of us would think about giving up, we'd look over at the other, taking care of all these sick kids...

Family is what you are when you're there for each other.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_black_canary_/]

She nods, looking a little sad. "Remember how you looked, when you came to get me from Light. There for me." Her head droops for a moment. "God, hate what I said to you then."

[straight-arrow.livejournal.com]

Hey. We said we're done with apologies.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_black_canary_/]

"You forgive me, easy. Me forgive you, easy. Me forgive me?" A shrug. "Not easy."

[straight-arrow.livejournal.com]

He takes a deep breath.

Okay. I'm going to try and get this right, this time.

Let me know if I'm messing up again, huh?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_black_canary_/]

She nods, her eyes not leaving his face.

[straight-arrow.livejournal.com]

Dinah, I...I love you more than I can say. But there are times, even when we were together, that it seemed like...things were getting in the way. That we weren't being there for each other.

It drives me nuts when it gets like that. If we're friends, teammates, old lovers...that's one thing. If we're family...that's another. But sometimes it seems like we're both...or neither.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_black_canary_/]

Ooof. What a thing to say. What a thing to hear.

Dammit, she wishes she had her voice back.

Finally she says, "Later, if we--if you--me.... We'd have to be both. All the time."

[straight-arrow.livejournal.com]

Yeah. No, wait.

I think we just crossed wires, again.

When I say 'both', I mean we're trying to be together, to be family, but still keep our own separate lives. And it doesn't work.

Is that what you meant?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_black_canary_/]

"Yes. No." A scowl crosses her face. "Would need to be there for each other. All the time." A mundane detail hits her. "Would have to move."

[straight-arrow.livejournal.com]

Ollie can't keep himself from giving the eyebrow.

I seem to remember saying something like that, yeah.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_black_canary_/]

She sees his eyebrow and raises him an eyeroll. "Didn't remember you said you'd move to New Jersey for me until couple days ago."

[straight-arrow.livejournal.com]

I know, I know.

But you weren't real receptive to the idea at the time. Or was I imagining that?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_black_canary_/]

"Not then, but wasn't up for discussion that night." She starts to rub her forehead, then winces as the bandages scrape her skin. "Could think about it. Seriously."

[straight-arrow.livejournal.com]

Whoa!

You know, how about you figure out who -- if anyone -- you're going to be dating before we start working things like that out.

His grin is very wide, like he's trying to take the sting out of it.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_black_canary_/]

"Yeah." She sighs and leans against pillows. "Lotta thinking to do."

[straight-arrow.livejournal.com]

He stands up, then leans over and kisses her on the forehead.

I should go. I think I'm due to have kelp shoved up my nose or something.

But I'm here when you're ready. Always. Okay?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_black_canary_/]

She smiles. "Okay. Later, Ollie."