JLA Watchtower (Archive)

"Iiii don't want to set the world on fire~!" The thin, well-dressed man sung to himself as he waited in line, tapping his fingers against his elbow as he cradled a basket full of groceries in his arms. He ignored the glare from the young mother behind him, because if she can't appreciate the classics it's not his fault! Besides, he'd been waiting for nearly thirty minutes while this old woman struggled with giving exact change for her purchase and he was, frankly, very proud of himself for keeping the nervous twitches down to a minimum. It wasn't often that he had to do his own shopping, but he'd be darned if he was going to be completly at the mercy of his own impulses, just because of crying children and noisy families and the faint smell of lemon pine that was...

"-here's my baby?!" The woman thundered, and it cut into the man's haze of self satisfaction. Gosh, he thought, as he saw that, indeed, the cart where the youngster who was bopping along to his song was empty. And then he was being grabbed by the lapel, as the woman enthused, "Did you see him?! I swear to God I was only distracted for a second and..."

And somehow, the animal in the woman knew to give the thin, harmless man a moment to catch his breath, despite every instinct in her body demanding an alternative action. "No." The man admitted, "But I'll help you look for him. He couldn't have gotten far, right?"

The young woman nodded, tears still streaking down her face, as the thin man went to the left, moving with practiced ease. "Ah hah." The thin man murmured, squatting down and reaching inside one of the colorful displays encouraging shoppers to indulge in a soda or a piece of candy before leaving. There was the kid, no more than 14 months old, looking up at the thin man as he(or she) sucked on a Wonka bar. "You've got good taste, kid." The thin man said calmly, reaching over and picking the child up. He turned around, bouncing the child a little in an attempt to keep it from panicking, and turned to call for the young mother when the screaming started.

"No! You MONSTER!"

"Feind!"

"Oh God we're all gonna die!"

The thin man blinked in confusion, looked over at the child, who was shamelessly grinning as she tugged on his face again, pulling more of the careful blend of makeup and prostetics that he used to go out in public. The thin man felt his face, saw that yes, the little girl had tugged his false nose off, and, for the first time in a long while, wondered what, exactly, he was going to do.

"The Joker's got my baby!"