West owes him for this.

[plazmania.livejournal.com]

The nut house. The crazy hut. The booby hatch - always a depressing misnomer, that one.

Eel O'Brien doesn't like it here, even though plenty of people probably think he belongs here. But he doesn't. He's an independent businessman... the only time he DESERVED to be here was after the first thousand years or so of being dispersed throughout the Atlantic Ocean... but it's a little hard to psychoanalyze living plankton.

Anyway, no ugly memories here - he's about to deal with someone who's an ugly right-now. He's gotta be 'pep talk man.' Get over the hump, bad guy, be a good guy, bad guy, stop banging psychotic clowns, ya freak.

Seriously, that's unbelievably gross. He's not sure if the whole Ivy thing cancels the Joker thing out or not.

After flashing some League cred to the gang here at the Keystone Mental Hosptial & Grill, he makes his way to the visitors area, a nice little lounge where everyone can be monitored, but you can sit at a table instead of those prison phones with the foot of glass between them.

He sits back in his chair, stretching over it impossibly, looking at the ceiling and trying to think of what the hell he's gonna say to this dingie broad.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_harley_quinn_/]

Harley struggled for a moment, she was beginning to get frustrated and not in a good way. "That's just it! ANYONE can do chaos but the Joker, he makes it a work of art! It's like, watching Picasso paint. I mean, I've dumped stuff into the Thames and poisoned all their fish but did it make the news outside of jolly ol' England? Nope. It takes someone like the Joker to make that real news."

She really wished he'd enlarge something other than a finger. Well, that and that the orderlies didn't come back any day soon.

[plazmania.livejournal.com]

Okay, this is a little weird. Isn't it usually the foxy bad girls that are all seducey on the straight-laced good guys? He's starting to wonder as he snakes a couple more fingers around her waist, finger-walking up her chest now.

This is ridiculous. You're Justice League, man, and you're groping an evil clown.

A really HOT clown. Who's not wearing the makeup right now. It's for a good cause! If the babe-magnetism can be used for good, ya gotta do it, right?

"Hate to break it to you, baby, but you don't get the publicity because as much as you wanna be the Bonnie to his Clyde, the general public thinks you're the Tom Arnold to his Roseanne. I know, no accounting for taste. Me, I think you're BETTER than that chump, and if the sucker ever hits you again, you should hit back HARDER. Thing is, Harley Q, if he thinks it's funny, he'd have no problem killing you and your gal Ivy without a second thought. That ain't no way to live, is it?"

[http://users.livejournal.com/_harley_quinn_/]

Harley arched into his touch, and she could feel herself start to breath just a little faster.

If one of the orderlies were to come in right at the moment they'd see how homicidal she'd get.

Harley tried to think about what Plaz was saying and not just about what he was doing with his hands. His incredibly long, agile hands.

"You sound just like Pammy you know. She was always telling me about how I was too good for Mister J and how I should leave him. And I didn't act like a door mat all the time you know. I blew him up once when he was doing a caper at an amusement park."

Actually she'd nearly blown up the entire amusement park but hey, that was a minor detail.

[plazmania.livejournal.com]

He did ask the orderlies for a bit of privacy and leeway here, with the League cred and all, but who knows how long they'll keep their noses out of this.

Wally'd be pissed. He knows he's gonna feel a bit guilty later. As his fingers march between her breasts, though, he's admiring his own personal record for getting to second base - and it's really rare to do that without even touching first.

Good thing. This is helpful. This is HEROIC, man.

"Now what is this whole mess with Ivy, huh? You three have some freaky-deaky set-up going on or what?"

[http://users.livejournal.com/_harley_quinn_/]

"God, no! Pammy and Joker hate each other with a passion."

The last word is more than a little breathless. All the touching was driving her crazy.

Okay, crazier.

With all the appendages wrapped around her, it was difficult to move. It was also a bit confusing as to what part to, well, grab. She settled from running her fingertips lighting over an arm before laying her entire hand on it and rubbing. Hard.

[plazmania.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, but is it the kind of hate that RESULTS in passion? I mean, angry sex can be some of the best - "

She's rubbing. He knows what she's looking for - the weirdness of his body has confused many an interested lady.

Holy CRAP, is this getting out of hand. Or into her hand, or... something. This is so wrong.

He suddenly pulls back everything but his ankle wrapped lightly around hers.

"Now, now, baby..." he says, clearing his throat, straightening his suddenly-grown tie and gulping a little before he can get his sly voice on properly. "That's just a taste of what could be waiting for you if you switch sides. I mean, it wouldn't be good for a fine, upstanding Justice League vet like myself to get TOO involved with such a hell-bent criminal... but if she was, say, actually INTERESTED in getting better, cutting out all the petty, pointless little crime sprees and helping make the world a little better than it was when she came into it, well..."

He shifts forms again.

(http://photobucket.com)

"... I think I know a guy what could quench all of her appetites."

The eyebrows waggle.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_harley_quinn_/]

Harley raised an eyebrow at the sudden change. "And here I thought I was the tease."

She leans forward in her chair hoping to entice him back. Harley didn't make any promises either way though, instead she changed the subject.

"Do you know what my first graduate thesis was going to be? 'I have long held there are only two circumstances which a person disregards the rules of society. When the commit a crime, or when they're in love.' It's a fascinating idea, people will do anything for love. Not lust, love."

[plazmania.livejournal.com]

Plaz leans forward in his new shape, too, being sure to display the cleavage fantastically.

Evading the subject, yeah. Crime-types are good at that, he knows. He had that mastered for a while before he just started being comically blunt.

"I dunno. They do a hell of a lot for lust, too."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_harley_quinn_/]

"Oh yeah, lust is a big motivator. But most of your garden variety of do-gooders won't kill for lust. Love, now that's a different story. A lot of people kill for love."

Harley gets a good eye full and doesn't exactly mind what she's seeing. She's pretty much smack dab in the middle of the Kinsey Scale.

[plazmania.livejournal.com]

Plaz, however, starts to mildly creep himself out, so he shifts back to a dashing male form, swankily dressed.

Swankily.

"Which lends credence to my unpopular theory that love is a form of brain disease. LIKE is a good thing. LIKE is what gives you a grin, keeps people in good spirits, makes you laugh. Like is love without the psychosis and obsession."

His hands raise behind his head as he leans back. "Like everybody, love nobody. Motto, baby."

His ankle is still twisted around hers, slowly slithering up her leg all teasy-like.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_harley_quinn_/]

Harley smirked just a bit at the sudden change but shifted around so the game of footsie would be easier. "I dunno, it's nice being in love. I like being in love. The world seems like such a fun place. It's such a powerful emotion."

[plazmania.livejournal.com]

Plaz gives a little spin of his finger, pointing out the room they're in.

"But look where it gets ya. The Booby Hatch."

And he can't help but stretch two fingers across the table and make a quick honking noise out of the side of his mouth as he pokes her breasts.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_harley_quinn_/]

Harley jumped and giggled. "True. But you see, I knew I was gonna end up here. Well, not here. I figured I'd get thrown back in Arkham. But if I would have really wanted to, I wouldn't have been caught."

[plazmania.livejournal.com]

This is the most 'game' gal he's come across in years. He hasn't even had to BUY her anything. Maybe he should start trollin' the nuthouses for babes more often.

"Pff. No way. Not in THIS town. You don't outrun the Flash, that much I know. Even if you do, it's not for very LONG. You always have pit stops in joints like these, and ya get tired of it. You hop over to my side of the fence, you get to walk around free and easy, no federales on your tail, no need to lie low, none of that cloak 'n' swagger horsepuckey, babe. You get to ditch the paranoid lifestyle, you don't get stuck here for months at a time in the 'I'm okay, You're okay, Lemme Change Yer Bedpan' land."

A shrug as his foot tickles under her thigh.

"Yeah, you've got the workaday thing where you gotta make an honest buck, but look at you! You'd make a killing on the pole!"